Tag: 43

Last week was my birthday.  My 43rd birthday.  {Sigh}

I was trying to think of something clever or interesting about turning forty-three to post about.  I failed.  What ensued was a bunch of nostalgic, random thoughts, which I am going to attempt to turn into forty-three…things, I guess.  Are these things interesting?  Hmmm…probably depends on who you are.  Are these things educational?  Yes.  I mean, no. No, definitely not educational…you know, in the educational sense.  Are these things funny?  No.  I mean, yes.  I mean it probably depends on your definition of “funny,” which probably means no, not funny.  Probably.  Are these things important?  Oh my gosh…yes.  Maybe.  Enough questions.  I have forty-three “things” to write…

1.  I was born in the same year (1972) that the following things happened:  The Godfather, abortion was made legal, Bloody Sunday (the actual event, not the U2 song), and Jane Fonda was photographed sitting atop a N. Vietnamese anti-aircraft gun.
2. When I was fourteen years-old, I had quite an extensive unicorn collection.  I had them displayed on a shelf on an opposite wall of our family bathroom.  Once, when a maintenance crew was fixing something in our bathroom, it caused the shelf to fall off my wall and break most of my unicorns.  It was a tearful experience, and I eventually sold the rest of them in a yard sale.  I regret that.  Last week I bought a tee-shirt for myself at Target with the slogan:  “I Should Have Been a Unicorn.”
3. I like peanut butter and jelly UnCrustables.  I eat one occasionally frozen.  Basically this means that my taste buds have not matured beyond about eleven years of age.
4. I was raised a Navy “brat.”  I lived in Indiana, California (San Francisco and San Diego); Orlando, Florida; Great Lakes, Illinois; and Charleston, South Carolina…all before I was twelve.  I attended nine different schools before I graduated in 1990.
5. I did not see The Karate Kid movie until 2004, even though I was a teenager in the 80s.
6. I drink at least one cup of coffee everyday.  If I don’t, I get a headache.  This means I’m addicted to the caffeine, but I don’t really care.
7. My favorite color is green.  My second favorite color is grey.  My third favorite color is goldenrod, like the crayon.  Okay, I’ll stop there.
8. My favorite pen to write with is a fine tip Sharpie.  They are so smooth.  Like butter…except ink.
9. I’m not very good at similes.  I’m crap.
10. I’m not very good at metaphors either.
11. I love dogs, especially those with smooshy faces, like Boston terriers, boxers, and English bulldogs.
12. I collect vintage Little Golden books.  I say “vintage,” but that may not be true.  I collect ones that are older, that I either had in my childhood or that I recognize from my childhood or before.  I especially like the ones with Eloise Wilkin illustrations, but so does everyone else, so they’re hard to find.
13. I got married at eighteen years-old.  It was the summer between my freshman and sophomore year of college.  The only thing that bothers me about this, is that I always feel like I have to say my age with how many years I’ve been married for fear that someone will think I’m way older than I really am.
14. I love Mexican food, especially salsa and margaritas.  Actually, I’m not sure they count as food…
15. I read a lot.  Mostly fiction.  Mostly classic fiction.  Mostly old copies of classic fiction.  I realize this is getting nerdier and nerdier.
16. I played slow-pitch softball in middle and high school and a couple of years as an adult. I was a pitcher and the lead-off batter.  I was pretty good, but I always put on make-up and did my hair before games.  I also refused to wear my hat or tuck in my shirt.  When it was hot, I would tie my sleeves on the top of my shoulders with color-coordinated ribbons.  All of these things bothered my dad, who was my coach for some of the years I played, immensely.
17. My favorite movie of all time is Robin Hood:  Prince of Thieves, even though I think Kevin Costner made a pretty dumb Robin.  For me, it’s all about Alan Rickman as the Sheriff of Nottingham.  Pure brilliance.
18. I like to color and doodle, but I can’t draw.
19. My wedding ring is kinda stuck on my finger.  When I was pregnant with my oldest, I had preclampsia, and my fingers swelled very quickly and greatly.  My ring actually got badly misshapen from it, and now I can only get it off if I work at it with lotion or soap or something.  Losing fifteen pounds might work too.
20. I’m allergic to amoxicillin, penicillin, ampicillin, erythrimiacin, and all sulfa drugs.  Taking antibiotics is precarious for me.
21. I’ve never broken a bone of my own, but I once broke a bone that belonged to my sister.  I did it by launching her from my feet into our neighbor’s Christmas tree.  It was April of 1986.  Long story.
22. I really, really, really like for my socks to coordinate with my outfit…even if you can’t see them.
23. As a kid, I wanted to marry someone with the last name of Kennedy because I thought Kellie Kennedy was really cute.  Fortunately, I never met anyone I liked with that name.
24. I am a huge Chicago Bears and Cubs fans.  I don’t care about the White Sox or basketball in general.
25. My favorite season is autumn.  My second favorite is winter.  My third favorite is spring.  I have a strong dislike for summer, except for the time off.
26. I don’t mind doing laundry, dusting, dishes, or cleaning bathrooms.  I loathe sweeping and vacuuming.
27. I hardly ever watch TV.  Occasionally I will watch sports or something on HGTV.  Netflix is another matter entirely.
28. I have a pretty healthy office supply fetish.  Paper, folders, pens, pencils, paperclips, highlighters…I love them.  I love them all.  And I must have them all.  In lots and lots of colors.  Did I say ‘healthy’?
29. As a teenager, I lived to talk on the phone.  I did it for hours.  And hours.  And hours.  Now I avoid it at all costs.  Text me.  Email me.  Message me.  Send me a carrier pigeon.  Please, please don’t call me.  Please.
30. I burn a lot of scented candles.  Yankees are my faves.  “They” are now saying that burning scented candles is as bad for you as living with a smoker.  Well, just call me Marlboro Man because I’m not stopping.
31. I have three children.  Last year my oldest started her freshmen year of college, my middle started his freshmen year of high school, and my youngest started kindergarten.  Boom!
32. I think the three most difficult things I’ve ever dealt with in my life were my parents’ divorce when I was 14, my grandmother’s death in 2003, and my middle son’s struggles with epilepsy which was most of last year (he will be completely seizure-free for a whole year on Dec. 3).
33. My favorite books (I can’t pick just one) are A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, Jane Eyre, To Kill a Mockingbird, The Thorn Birds, and Pride and Prejudice (this list doesn’t include the Bible…).
34. Hmmmm….well…uhhhh…can we just pretend I turned 33 and call it a night?  I’m running out of “things,” I think…
35. Two of my sisters-in-laws and I once tried to spy on a one-room Mennonite school house.  They were having some sort of social gathering at night.  We crept through a corn field on our hands and knees, wearing all black, using a night vision device…yes, night vision…but we couldn’t see a darn thing.  And then we got caught, which was awkward.
36. I am not a good swimmer.  I’m actually not a fan of the beach, pools, or water in general.  Except bubble baths.  I’m a big fan of bubble baths.
37. I have 2,368 unread, undeleted emails in my inbox.  Yeah, in some areas, I’m a red hot mess.
38. At age almost 40, I traveled outside of the country for the first time.  I went to Mongolia.  My travel motto is:  “Go big, or go home.”  Not really, but it should be.
39. I like driving, except in high traffic.  If I’m not driving, I get very sleepy, and doze off, and get cramps in my neck, and drool.
40. About two decades ago, when I got my first teaching job, I got the edge of my skirt caught in the wheels of my rolling chair.  I had a room full of tenth graders, and I was literally stuck seated in my chair.  I was able to signal to a girl in the front row, who helped release it without hardly any of them knowing.
41. Also, thinking of my first teaching job, I was once writing a homework assignment on the board.  I was assigning a set of questions from the book called “Think it Throughs,” but in stead of writing that all out, I decided to abbreviate, so I wrote, “Do the TITS #s 1-4, p. 112.”  Thankfully, I caught my faux pas before any students were in the room.  I decided to just call them “Thinks.”
42. I found out recently that Netflix keeps track of what you watch on their Instant Streaming.  They created a category under my profile called, “British Period Pieces Based on Literature featuring Strong Female Leads.”  Netflix may know me better than my own mother.
43. Once, when I turned 43, I decided to write 43 “things” about myself.  It was hard.  It took me a couple of days.  I wept.  I gnashed my teeth.  I rent my clothing.  But then I finished, and I was glad.  And, I’ll bet, so are you (that I’m finished…not necessarily that I did this).